Ask KC : One More Chance & Bye Bye Bye

Dear KC,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm 18 and he's 32. I¹m on my second year in uni while he works for their family business.

The last few months of our relationship were filled with arguments day in and day out, usually about him not having enough time for us or for not being attentive in the few times when we were actually together.

Last month I found out that I was going to lose my scholarship because my grades were slipping. To make matters worse, I accidentally heard my mother confide in someone that I was adopted. I was shocked and deeply affected that my life spiraled down. I ended up snapping at my boyfriend more than ever. He never offered any words of support at all. Whenever I'd tell him how I felt about things, he'd just stay quiet.

Then one day out of the blue, he said that we should rethink our relationship. Assuming that that meant he was breaking up with me, I went to a bar that night and met this guy. For some reason, he was able to find out about it and it was only then that I realized that it was really the end of it all. I think him ending our relationship because of what I did was unfair - I even didn't fuck with the guy for crying out loud! Sure, I messed around and exchanged blowjobs with the guy I met at the bar but that was it! He has since ignored me even after my constant calling and sending him messages to his phone and email.

I sincerely want to try to work this out with him and I'd do anything to win him back. What should I do?

One More Chance

Dear One More Chance,

I hate to say this but you're a jerkŠall I could see in your email is me, me, me. My grades, my family situation, my time. I honestly feel that you are being unfair to the guy. I've been there, I run my own business, and my business partner and I are responsible for the livelihood of 24 people (soon to be 50) and I know how hard it could be.

Anyway I digress, it seems to me that you were being very unfair, what about him? Did he tell you about his work? Or did you even ask him about how his day was? And if he wanted to rethink the relationship he didn't tell you to go out and cruise. A blowjob is still considered sex, penetration or not, its still sex.

This sort of reminds me of a Filipino movie line that says "iniwan kita para makapag-isip, hindi para ipagpalit ako sa ibang babae" Translate, "I left you so you could think, not replace me with another girl." If you really wanted to work it out, shouldn't have gone to the bar, you could have tried and talk things through with him.

Well about ignoring you, I would say I would do the same if in his shoes, but maybe give him time, for me it might take a few years like 3-5Šyears, by the way I just spoke to my ex recently, we broke up around 5 years ago. So around 5 years might do the trick.

Perhaps you are too young, that's what friends told me when J and I broke up. Maybe when you are a bit older you would learn to appreciate what he was doing for you, but it doesn't guarantee he would take you back or be friends with you. All I could say I guess is I genuinely hope you have learned your lesson and I hope you treasure the next love that comes along.

KC

Hi KC,

I'm a 27 year old guy who just came from a 18-month relationship with a guy who is 8 years younger than me.

I recently took over this bakeshop that is perfectly situated in a busy neighborhood. Considering its location, business has been doing very well and since we bake breads every morning, I have to be up really early and manage everything. My 19 year old boyfriend (I'm 27) was supportive at first, not minding the fact that we weren't spending as much time as before but things turned sour a couple of months ago when he began to change. He became a real pain in the ass and was starting to act like a brat. I understood where he was coming from so even if not sleeping for a full day just to spend time with him after work was what I did. Despite my hiring two assistants to help me out in the bakery, I felt I still had to concentrate on my business to make it more successful.

One night when he started complaining how I can't give him more time, I snapped and told him I wanted to cool it off for a while. That night when he walked out of my apartment, he hooked up with his ex. Then I discovered after reading his ex's blog that they fucked all night long. When I confronted him about it, he said it was just plain ol' sex, that it was nothing, and I shouldn¹t take it too seriously since we were cooling off. How can sex with an ex be nothing? I was totally hurt and I felt betrayed. I haven't spoken to him since even if he continues to send me messages saying that he admits he was wrong by sleeping with his ex.

I've always felt that people only have one chance to love you and one chance to hurt you. Since he already did all that, I don't want to go through all that heartache again. I hope you can give me some advice on what I should do.

Bye-Bye-Bye

Dear Bye-Bye-Bye

I have to say, we were exactly on the same boat. Honestly, I think you are better off without him, I think he knew that his ex would blog about it and he knew you would read it. I think he did it more to hurt you than anything. Well all I can say is stay strong. Someone more deserving will come your way. If you feel you shouldn't give him a chance then don¹t. And it's true, if he can hurt you one time, he can certainly hurt you again. There would be nights when you miss him and there would be times when you really want to give him a call. Or hope that he is the person knocking at your door. But you will move on, I know I have, surround yourself with friends or your family and you will start thinking less and less of him and one day you will wake up and won¹t have any heart aches just thinking of him. Remember it's his lossŠ

Good luck on your businessŠ don't loose hope, there would be days when you really feel like its not working and you feel like giving up, don't Šbelieve me having your own business is still more fulfilling than a Vice President Job with a corner office and a nice view. You won¹t have a secretary or a nice oak table but at least you know it¹s yours. Always remember, life is a banquet,

Live! Live! Live!

KC

Comments

[Destiny]

Well let's face the reality that younger people thinks life as easy as one,two,three. Maybe not all, but most of them are still immature when it comes to understanding the fact that all of us must have to lift a finger in order to stay alive in this world.

[jdavinci]

(sigh), even if there are exceptions to the rule, age definitely correlates to maturity. funny that every time i find myself in a debate about this, its always with a "youngen". of course they'll be defensive. kids really need to grow up and adults have to behave like adults.

[Closet Conundrums]

Actually I really don't know, because I've been 18 once and I've had my fair share of problems that at that time seemed so big for an 18 year old to carry, but I was never a brat, and never went out of my way to hurt someone.