Ask KC : Queer As Faith

Dear KC,

So Im a 17 year old Christian and I think I'm gay. I like guys but I can't tell anyone cause my parents will make me have "counseling sessions" or do something like that, and all of my guy friends ( which are cute by the way) would reject me and never talk to me again. Plus I'm a Christian, and all Christians believe that God put the woman on earth to fuffil the man. I usually always have a girlfriend too and i can keep them for almost a year But all i ever do with them is just a peck on the cheeck. But i look at gay sites but i dont look at regular girl sites.... But I secretly like guys and I can't tell anyone because no one will like me. I would greatly appreciate your two cents on this. Nice site btw.

Sincerely,

Confused kid

Hey there anther confused boy,

I'm really sorry it took me a while to write back. I'm still at a lost with what to tell you right now. Actually I want to know how you feel about being gay and Christian? Don't take it as a criticism other than an observation of your email, you said you are Christian, and all Christians believe...do you personally believe it as well? I know you're Christian (I'm Catholic by the way) but would you personally say that being gay is a sin? I certainly can't.

Your email has two issues, and we can't simply answer one without the other. First is being in the closet, which I assume you are since you have girlfriends and secretly like guys. Asides from keeping girlfriends as a cover, do you feel any need to come out and tell everybody that you like guys? I honestly think it takes time, perhaps we are luckier, you and I both. 50 years ago anybody who comes out of the closet is sent to an asylum. But it's way different for us. I guess it's more different for you. We didn't have friendster, myspace, facebook when I was in high school. We didn't have blogs where we can publish what we feel online. But you guys do, I'm only 11 years older then you by the way. Hahahaha. So do you really feel that there is a need for you to bust down the closet doors and tell everybody you're gay?

The second is how you feel being Christian and gay, like I wrote earlier, do you personally believe that gay is a sin? I'm not a Biblical scholar or theologian, and there are a wealth of gay Christian sites out there (there are a lot of ex-gay ones too). To me, being gay and being Christian has never been an issue. I never chose to be gay and I don't care what other people want to say or believe, my being gay is just as natural as my black hair and I certainly don't think how my being gay could deny my faith that Christ has risen from the dead on the third day.

I hope I was able to help you out...Honestly I think I just made it more complicated hehehe. Anyway just hang on, you have a year to go with your parents...when you're 18, they can't make you do anything that you don't want. And always remember Life is a Banquet...Live! Live! Live!

KC

P.S. I just remembered a story by an Indian Jesuit Priest named Fr. Anthony de Mello, and although the Catholic Church sort of banned his books, I was still able to get some copies before the notification. In one of his books entitled Song of the Bird, he had a dialogue between a Master and his disciple.

The Master was asked, "What is Spirituality?"

He said, "Spirituality is that which succeeds in bringing one to Inner Transformation."

"But if I apply the traditional methods handed down by the Masters, is that not Spirituality?"

"It is not Spirituality if it does not perform its function for you. A blanket is no longer a blanket if it does not keep you warm."

"So Spirituality does change?"

"Perople change and needs change. So what was Spirituality once is Spirituality no more. What generally goes under the name of Spirituality is merely the record of past methods."

Then he left a simple postscript to the short story: Don't cut the person to fit the coat.

Comments

[Scottso]

A number of these pix were already posted on June 23. I sure love #16 though.

[taylor Siluwe]

Great advice ...

One really should ask questions when your faith is saying that what you feel inside (your essense) is wrong, bad, or sinful. And I don't mean question your feelings, but by all means question your faith.

[joseph]

I really appreciate the end of your ansmer ! but I also think it's possible to give chistian's values in homosexual relation ! love is a beautifull thing !but has different issues! find your best way of live respecting your ideas and liberty of the others!

[orange bean]

"If your eye causes you to sin, cut it out." How about, "If your church causes you to hate yourself, cut it out." Faith and organized religion and doctrine and dogma are all different things. Faith should be a personal thing, but organized religion has turned faith into a tool for brainwashing and social engineering. If your friends and family can't love you for who you are, shame on them and shame on their religion. You cannot embrace and love yourself for who you are so long as you're hiding your true nature.

If you must, wait until you're 18 and on your own, but please please, for your own health and sanity, live your life openly as you know yourself to truly be. People's attitudes toward homosexuality are easy to maintain when gay people are "them" at arm's distance. They don't have to question the dogma forced down their throats by the church when it has little impact on their own lives. But when it's their own son, their own friend - then just maybe they'll at least think about how truly hateful their attitudes are. And who knows - maybe they'll choose love instead of hate.

[boo]

screw it. even some of those puritan priests are gay. the kalbo guy is sooo hot. any info on his name?