Dear KC,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months then suddenly he sorta disappeared last week and started dodging my calls. When I go to his apartment, he never opens the door when I knock. I know he is there because I can see the shadow through the small opening at the bottom of the door. Then I got a text from him this morning saying that he has decided to go back to his Christian faith and repent for his sins and that I should do the same. I need your advice, what should I do?
Another Confused Boy
Dearest Another Confused Boy,
If you are gay and you are starting to think that being gay is sinful then you are really confused! The only thing you should do is walk away and move on. On second thought, I remember when my first BF broke up with me because he wanted to go back to "being straight", I actually planned on sending him a huge bouquet of roses to his work place with a huge card (purposely left unsealed) saying "Dear X, I had fun last night. See you tonight, SAM (or some very butch name)". I'm sure that would have blown the doors of his closet wide open...well if you wanna get even you might want to do that and make sure to deliver it while he is at a church gathering or something. ;-)
Seriously, he isn't worth it and don't even let him make you believe that being gay is wrong and sinful. Not wanting to sound so dramatic, but honey, you're gay, you're not a murderer, rapist or a robber.
Good luck, KC
P.S. Since you are already confused I'd forgive the "Me and my boyfriend" part...but next time it's "My boyfriend and I"...smile
Dear KC,
For the past few months my boyfriend and I have been having less and less sex. I'm worried that we're loosing attraction and he is getting bored. We have been living together for a few years now and this is the first time this has happened. Sometimes there are even weeks that we don't do it. I know we have been working stressful jobs and we usually get home very late and tired but I was hoping you could give me some suggestions to jump start our sex life.
Best Regards, Sex-Deprived-Boy
Dear Sex-Deprived-Boy,
Although I don't think I'm the right guy for you to ask about this, I'll try my best to give my two cents worth. First, I don't know about most of you guys but I think it's pretty normal that after a few years of living together there would be relatively less sex. When you weren't living together, chances are, you would have sex every chance you get. If ever you only meet once a week, then I'm sure you would find a way of doing it on that one day that you meet. But then if you have a chance to do it everyday, then missing a day doesn't matter too much (I think). Put it this way, if you were a chocolate "addict" and you were given free reigns on a chocolate shop for a day, I would bet big bucks that you would try all the chocolate in the store and gorge on every single chocolate treat in it. But then if you have it for 10 years, you could start being choosy and I don't doubt that after a few years you might even go on days without taking a bite.
What I'm saying is it's normal and you shouldn't really be worried that much. But if you want to try to do something about it. You might want to plan a romantic getaway, somewhere isolated where you could be together without thinking of your jobs. You could leave your phones on voicemail and leave everything at your place when you leave, packing only your clothes (not that you would need it) and some lube (which you would surely need and rubbers in case you still use it).
Your-Accidental-Guru, KC
P.S. You might want to check out Eric's blog at Restoring Love.
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Still have no idea what to call these posts...I think its gonna be a normal thing but I know how these "normal" things don't really last long here on my blog, so I hope you guys continue sending your emails so I could write about them more often.
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